GTFO!

How NOT to Initiate Your Significant Other to the Outdoors

How to Initiate Your Significant Other to the OutdoorsIf you are reading this right now, my guess is there has to be some smidgin’ of interest in having fun outside.  Most people do when it comes down to it.  After all, we are creatures of nature, and although sometimes many generations far removed, there’s that natural instinct to hear the sounds and smell the smells of the wilderness.

It’s the time factor, however, that can be a big differentiator between different people’s definition of “being outdoors”.  Some people are satisfied with a three hour tour, while others consider things like cell phones and toilet paper sacrilege to the spirit of nature.  Hopefully most people fall somewhere in the middle.

Occasionally, two people are attracted to one another who fall on opposite sides of the enjoyment spectrum.  Being an avid lover of the outdoors myself, I have dated girls who initially say they love things like camping, hiking, and “being outside”, only to realize that they usually want to do these things in very, very small doses.  No fault to them, for they simply grew up in an urban jungle where those small doses were the only tastes of wilderness, such as school trips and forced family outings.

But never fear, whether you are male or female, here are a few tips to help you help your significant other become more acclimatized to nature.  If you follow these guidelines they will be howling at the moon in no time!

No personal hygiene supplies
This is sometimes the most difficult one to overcome.  If someone is used to their morning routine of brushing their hair, putting on their face, and some artificial smell product, it might be a hard habit to break.  But it’s an important one.  Relinquishing common hygine for some dirt up the crack and the smell of pine is worth it.  If someone is worried about their appearance while in nature, they will be up for dissappointment around every corner.

lock carLock the car
The car can be a safe haven for the city slicker.  The smell of upholstery, bucket seats, and even a stereo can be quite the distraction and creature comfort.  Do your partner a favor and lock the door and hide the keys.  They’ll become acclimatized faster.

Hide the watch
Time should not be an issue in the outdoors.  It’s a false construct of society.  Really, the best possible clock exists in the sky as we rotate around it.  Try it, it’s surprisingly accurate.

Hide the toilet paper
There is no better way to become acquainted with the trees.  Or should I say… it’s limbs.

Find some wild mushrooms or berries
When you eat something wild, growing out from the ground underneath you, you have a deeper respect from the life giving properties of nature.  Just be sure you don’t pull a bonehead move a-la into the wild and make sure that you know exactly what you are eating.  Hopefully that disclaimer is common sense… but especially for the new initiates to the outdoors, make sure you study the guidebooks on point.

huntingKill a small animal
Or a large one if you are into it.  But the city slicker might be reluctant off the top to oblige.  Once they are able to catch a rabbit , muskrat, badger, etc, and kill it, they will feel firsthand the natural circle of life (cue Elton John).  Especially when you eat the meat and make a delightfully tacky (yet simultaneously uber-creepy) nightstand ornament.

With the ideas set forward, your new love interest will either be well initiated to the great outdoors…. or the opposite and they are hightailing it to the nearest day spa.  Either way, it’s good information to know about the person!

 

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