Let’s talk about sex…giggle, giggle ( Last song reference, I promise): Birds do it, bees do it, educated fleas do it. Hell, even climbers do it. If you’re shocked then you clearly haven’t spent enough time scoping out (and perhaps creepily taking pictures of) sexy, climbing, hardbodies like this girl. And if you think their climbing obsession and general disregard for hygiene leaves them lacking in the bedroom department, think again! These guys and gals (I’m told) have the moves inside the gym and between the sheets. Here’s why:
The Motion of the Ocean:
Climbers move like Jagger ( Damn it! Did it again). They’ve got hip action the likes of which you wouldn’t believe, enjoy creative positioning, and often have exceptional (though perhaps somewhat stoner) taste in music. Don’t be surprised if your climber hottie has you listening to Led Zepplin’s “You Shook Me” while balancing precariously on the bathroom sink.
Strength like the Hulk:
Ever heard of the Hulk Smash? Try it with a climber. Their well-defined muscles are perfectly suited for throwing you around the bedroom like a sack of potatoes. As for climber gals…Well, we can totally dominate you if that’s what you’re into.
Climbers are Into Exhibitionism:
I have yet to meet a climber who doesn’t like to see post climbing photos of them doing badass moves on the rock. The same goes for post gettin’ it on pictures and videos of their bedroom exploits. Word to the Wise: Watch and delete that shit before you end up starring in your own internet “home movie”.
Climbers Like Toys
Need we say more? I didn’t think so.
Adventurous and Thrill Seeking in Life= Fun in Bed (Most of the Time):
So your last boyfriend wasn’t into positions that twist you both into pretzels or that super cool sex swing that you wanted to try? Climber guys are adventurous on the rocks and seek out new and thrilling experiences. As such, they tend to be experimental in the sack and may even mount that sexy swing for you right next to their hangboard. In fact, I’m pretty sure there’s a way you could incorporate a hangboard into your nightly romps…But we’ll leave that to your imaginings.
That being said, practice safe sex. And, no, we don’t mean getting harnessed up and making sure you’re both doublebacked.