GTFO!

What You Now Think of Me After Seeing Me in My Pompom Ski Hat

PSH1Yesterday I ran into the boy that I’m secretly in love with at the car repair store. I was wearing a Patagonia sweater, some pants and a ski hat with a big pompom on it. I was excited to see the boy, but the pompom made it a dicey situation.We chatted about his business, sky diving, skiing, and everything was going well, but all I could think was ‘there is a giant ball of yarn on the top of my head for no reason.’ I was afraid it would bob up and down as I nodded, so I tried to keep my head still. I was also afraid it would make my head look big.

But these were just my initial fears. After he left, I spent a long time meditating on the situation. What did he make of me now, after seeing me like this? In the end, I was pretty convinced that he must have come to one of the following conclusions, and that I should be happy, and free up the rest of my week because he was definitely going to call me on the phone.

1She’s such a good sport
I bet her mom gave her that hat for Christmas. I bet her mom thought it was cool or that it would look cute on her. Or maybe it was a childless aunt or a grandparent who has lost touch with reality. I really like that she’s so willing to be gracious and put the feelings of others before her own personal style. I should probably give her a call.

She must be a total bad ass
Obviously this girl is a gnarly skier. She can wear whatever she wants because she doesn’t have to care what people think, that’s how good she shreds. In this way, she’s being a little bit ironic by wearing that huge pompom. I’d love to follow in her skin tracks. I should probably give her a call and see if she’ll be my girlfriend.

She’s one of those girls who have totally nailed the art of outdoor style.
….Even if I don’t understand it myself. But I love that she is wearing a hat indoors at a car store. It shows that she really understands just how much heat can be lost via the human head. And I admire how she’s not afraid to stand out and show off her own flare. Obviously she’s one of those girls who can seamlessly fuse fashion and function. It would be cool to be seen with her in public. I hope that happens one day.

She’s very rich
She must be very wealthy. Wealthy people are sometimes a little eccentric with their fashion tastes because they’re ahead of the times. The hat is made of merino and it is brand name, but the big pompom is definitely fashion forward. It’s cool that she can be so rich yet so outdoorsy and her sweater and pants prove that she is grounded. I should think about making her my wife.

She’s an underemployed writer with no sense of style and that pompom is living proof of how far she is from ever being hip
How endearing is that!? She’s like the obviously hot girl who plays the nerdy girl in the movie, and when she takes off her glasses, and her pompom, you see that she’s really gorgeous. I should probably ask her on a date before everyone else catches on. I’m really grateful that I’m the first one to notice her

At least it wasn’t not one of those wacky ski hats with the fake dreadlocks
Because that’s a deal breaker.

 

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